To Borderline, with love

When person you felt attracted to & some else …

If you think, you & someone might be perfect for each other ...

Don’t give up on being you, for being witness to a kiss or two

If you think, your life was worthless anyway, why the hustle if it's going to be without him/her

If you wish to be dead for a love that lost the air to breathe, don’t give up on being you

When you're the only one to give up life for his/her love, giving up being you only takes away

The little chances he/she could have had, feeling what it means to be loved honestly endlessly

– to borderline, with love

Borderline Personality Disorder means living a life that every moment of it feels like a struggle between "life & death.” Just to review few of the symptoms: “markedly disturbed sense of identity", “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment and extreme reactions to such", “splitting ("black-and-white" thinking)”, “impulsivity and impulsive or dangerous behaviors” and so if to ordinary individuals "falling in love is wonderful” to BPD it is perhaps never even remotely close to “wonderful"; not to mention, of course, it is not even a roller-coaster-ride. Because to individuals with “intense or uncontrollable emotional reactions that often seem disproportionate to the event or situation” every moment of life, even the most mundanes, could appear a roller-coaster-ride. And as we live in times when dating is a game of seduction and deception, a playground for attempting to gain the most with cards in your hand instead of standing for what your heart really desires and expressing affection with behaviors and acts to someone you do wish to live the rest of your life with, navigating the dating scene with participants to most of which the biggest expectation of intimacy never exceeds the fantasy of a one night stand, I can imagine adding a tiny portion of “self-damaging behavior” to the complex mix of risky symptoms already available in BPD, being attracted to someone and hoping for a longer than a lifetime lasting love with an absolute stranger and receiving rejection, because beside anything such a relationship is never the dream of any ordinary human being – especially in our times and in our dating and relationship cultures … – for BPD it is so easy to lose the motivation to be themselves in such circumstances, especially as “distorted self-image” is another symptom … Of course, your feeling that it could be “love” between you and someone could always be wrong, but I hope this little dialogue, helps you and individuals with BPD to try to maintain his or her balance instead of engaging in all sorts of behaviors and mindsets that damages one’s quality of professional or private life … I don’t like to advocate for “you’ll find the right person” because to individuals with BPD, there has never existed a long lasting healthy, intense and full-filling emotional attachment in their lives, since [perhaps] extremely early childhood, and so such claims without hard proof is only going to make his or her psyche feel like being deceived, instead of receiving sincere advice or encouragement. So, I hope this little dialogue has some tiny implications on motivating you to not give up living out who you truly are and why you’re living, only for the sake of being [romantically] rejected …

PS. You can purchase a hard copy of this tiny dialogue from Lost Ideas Lab Store ...

Published: Sat, May 12, 2018 12:00 AM

from Penumbra

Series of Random Works